Boredom breeds creativity, sometimes:
If Major League was to be played by actual Major League ball players who would be on the roster?
Center Field:
Willie Mays Hayes – Kenny Lofton
Catching:
Jack Parkman – AJ Pierzenski
Rube Baker – Doug Mirabelli
Jake Taylor – Gary Carter
Third Base:
Roger Dorn – Chuck Knoblauch, or A-Rod
Left Field:
Hiroshi Kazahiro Tanaka – So Taguchi Obviously
Right Field:
Pedro Cerrano – Manny Ramirez (Because he had a slow start, and then brought it on later in the season)
Wild Thing Rick Vaughn:
Rick Ankiel (when he first came up with the lack of control), Trevor Hoffman (when he lost his velocity), and finally Rod Beck, RIP, (with the shooter mentality, and the crazy haircut).
Eddie Harris:
Jamie Moyer (the thumber, who can toss all kinds of crap up to the dish). Also considered, Gaylord Perry because of the KY-Balls, Vaseline curveballs, and sandpaper splittys.
Shooby (The Slow Lefty Guy):
Rick Ruschell. Big Daddy, fat, slow, and garbage.
Clue Haywood:
No question, John Kruk in the prime of his Phillies career, with the huge-ass dip and gut.
Post a comment if you have improvements to my shabbily put together list.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Damn your list is terrible. Hayes was right-handed...and Lofton is like 47 years old...Rickey Henderson would be the obv choice...but Henderson had tons more power IMO. How about Vince Coleman? Mainly a LF, but he was a switch hitter and could run for days obv.
AJ has hit 20 HRs/season maybe once in his career...Parkman was a stud. The only way they can be put together is because of that time AJ trucked the Cubs catcher/Parkman trucked Rube (douchebag). Sorry to say...but Parkman might just have to be Mike Piazza.
Rube doesn't deserve to be equated to a pro...considering he sucks donkeynuts and I wish he'd just die. Pick a Junior college somewhere down in West Texas and find one of the okey white farmers that plants the sawd...that's Rube. Fuck you Rube.
Taylor was awesome and is made to be a coach...how about Bob Brenly? Brenly was mostly known for his leadership and spirit while a player...
Roger Dorn was a high-priced 3B that wasn't worth his salt much anymore. A-Rod is busy hitting 45 yacks a year...so let's not go with A-Rod. Mike Lowell maybe?
You brought Major League II into this (the asian outfielder)? Shame on you. That movie was just an excuse to make the story revolve around Charlie Sheen. Fuck MLII and fuck Charlie Sheen!
Pedro...Manny's a LF, so how about we use Vlad instead.
Vaughn...fuck Vaughn. Fuck Charlie Sheen.
Eddie Harris = skinny version of Gaylord Perry obv
Clue Haywood was just nasty. Triple Crown winner right-handed batter that played 1B...the White-trash version of Albert Pujols perhaps?
God damn I fucking own.
I agree with Vince Coleman, maybe even Tim Raines early in his career. Rickey Henderson probably is the best man for the job.
I was using AJ because of the fact that everyone hates him, and he plays for the White Sox. Mike Piazza?? Come on, that is terrible. I was going off sheer demeanor and style of play.
Good call on Rube, he did lick balls. Keep in mind that I did this in like 10 minutes when I was at work and bored as hell.
Taylor was the easiest pick of the whole thing. Gary Carter looks like him, was a has been just like him, was old like him, and wore the helmet without the earflaps. Enough said, that pretty much defends my pick.
Mike Lowell would be a good choice except that he led the Red Sox in RBIs w/ 120 he also had a .962 fielding percentage unlike anything that Roger Dorn did. I mentioned A-Rod only because he was sucking it up pretty hard in the field and getting booed unmercifully.
Yeah bringing Hiroshi Kamakaze Tanaka, was a stupid move, but is was just too easy.
How about Greg Vaughn? A little bit of power every once and a while, and really wasn’t the greatest in the outfield. Definitely would be better.
I would have to say that you mildly owned, not as much as originally thought in the text msg.
Whatever. I guess I do like the Gary Carter reference...I forgot about the helmet without ear flaps. Greg Vaughn tho? That one came out of left field...oh snap ZING!
Post a Comment